boy.meets.world.

     I love this show! As a matter of fact, I could talk about this show all day! It is so funny! It makes me laugh! It makes me cry! It makes me happy!

    
     To start off with, Cory and Topanga are too cute for words.

     I have watched every single episode! Actually I have watched every single episode more than once! (It is a wonderful procrastination technique.) And the more I think about this show hat it has taught me some things about life. Yes, it has also given me unrealistic expectations about life, and about how my high school experience should have been. But at the same time some of it was real for me. Some of the show, some of the characters experiences and the lessons learned meant something to me.  I think that that is what makes a show truly great. For example, nearly all of my high school friends followed me to college. The only difference is we all still live at home, not in dorms, because the university is in the same town and let's face it, it's cheaper. Yet another similarity is I, like Topanga, am waiting for marriage to have sex. That is what I have chosen for myself, that is what I am comfortable with. However, unlike Topanga and Cory I don't have someone, like they have each other. I don't have that person and I haven't found them yet. The kind of love story they share will never be a reality for me, unless I run into some old kindergarten friend. Which would be weird. Why would it be weird? Well, we would probably not even know or recognize each other anyways, since I moved right after kindergarten. This could only result in loosing touch with all those people, who I no longer remember.  So either way it would never be the same situation, but I do hope it would and could be the same feeling. Now, back to reality, the point is; I love this show and it taught me some important things and now I'm going to share them with you, internet world.

1) I learned your parents love you.

• Not only do they love you but...
• They will do anything for you.
• They will listen
• They will worry
• They will be afraid and angry, but none of that outweighs their love and dedication to helping you.
• Even if it means not helping your newly wed children, or stopping them from marrying too soon. Or kicking Eric out to find a job, and reach his full potential.

2) I learned about the importance of education.

• Thank you Mr. Feeney (FFFFEEEEE-FFEEEE - EEEEAAAA-KNNNEEEE)

3)I learned the importance of trying your hardest

• This is significant to apply in every aspect of life, not just in school. 

4) I learned that being average is nothing to be ashamed of

• When I think about this lesson, the episode that stands out the most is Cory's dad feeling sad because he was a grocer, but learned being a father and husband and what those he loves thinks of him and his happiness is most important
• Cory also struggles with this issue a lot, but with the help of his friends he is able to reach his potential and recognize that there are all sorts of talent and important things that may not be recognized by the world, but are recognized by those who are important.

5) I learned if you are there for your friends they will be there for you too

• Sometimes this means being there when they don't think they want or need you, but part of being a friend is being there.
• Sometimes being a friend is doing what's best for them, even if it's hard for you. Like letting Shawn move
• Sometimes being a friend is telling your friend something they don't want to hear, but need to hear. This is like Cory saving Shawn from the Cult.

6) I learned 'waiting' can be cool , accepted and it is definetly worth it for love

• I mean look at how happy Cory and Topanga were

7) I learned that although new things are scary, it is worth the risk

• In reference to my thoughts are drawn to the last few episodes, when Topanga is looking at law school, and everyone's future is up in the air. Things are changing, but Cory learns -- it's just about meeting the world and taking what it gives you.

8) I learned being the smart girl is Okay. It means you can still be pretty, but being nice is more important.
9) I learned that it is important to know that looks aren't everything.

• Remember that episode where Topanga cut her hair to show cory it's not all about looks, when he is feeling ugly and uncool. Then much to her horror she realizes she was a little more vain than she realized. 
• That episode showed that loooking your best is important, and the outside does count, just not as much as the inside.
• The outside just shouldn't be all.

10) Socio-Economic Status and stereo-types do not hold you back.

• Thank-you Shawn!

Some unrealistic expectations I gained from the show were
1) You will never have to study hard in university, or study at all.
2) People in your life will always be constant

   All in all I adore this show! I wish it never ended! And I'm thankful it showed me I too am a hypochondiac, just like Cory!

song.journal.september.october.2011.

09.01.11. Breathe.
...
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time
...
Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around
And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
And I can't Breathe
Without you, but I have to
...
Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
...
09.02.11. Everytime You Lie.
...
Don't say you're sorry
'Cause I'm not even breaking
You're not worth the time that this is taking
I knew better
Than to let you break my heart
This soul you'll never see again
Won't be showing scars
You still love her
I can see it in your eyes
The truth is all that I can hear
Everytime You Lie
...
I woke up the next morning
With a smile on my face
And a long list of gentlemen
Happy to take your place
Less trashier, much classier
Then who you proved to be
How long's it gonna take before
You see that she's no me
...
09.03.11. Trainwreck.
...
I shook your hand and you pulled it right away
You asked me to dance and instead I said, "No way!"
Inside I was dying to give it a try and you begged me so I stayed
I knew you were different from the way I caved
We were so different
But opposites attract
So my hope kept growing
And I never looked back
You're one of a kind!
And no one can change this heart of mine
One more thing I thought I'd share with someone special
I'm falling like I never fell before
It's funny you said we'd never make it and look how far we've come
You're a Trainwreck
But with you I'm in love
...
09.04.11. The Other Side of the Door.
...
I said, "Leave," but all I really want is you
To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles, screaming, "I'm in love with you."
Wait there in the pourin' rain,
Come back for more.
And don't you leave,
'Cause I know all I need
Is on The Other Side Of The Door.
Me and my stupid pride
Are sittin' here, alone.
I'm going through the photographs,
Staring at the phone.
...
If you know everything
Tell me why you couldn't see
That when I left I wanted you to chase after me?
...
09.06.11. Keep Your Pants On.
...
You were doing so good, so smooth from the start,
Well on your way to stealing my heart!
Turns out my heart ain't what you had in mind
Won't be no trophy, no notch on your belt,
No locker room story that you don't even tell.
Keep Your Pants On!
Baby, slow down!
I ain't your boy toy
I ain't your playground
Maybe first base, but not a grand slam!
I ain't no angel, but my mama didn't raise me wrong!
Keep Your Pants On
...
09.09.11. Better Than Revenge.
...
The story starts when it was hot and it was summer
And I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him
She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause
She took him faster than you can say sabotage
I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it
...
Sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know
Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go
Oh, they didn't teach you that in prep school, so it's up to me
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity
She's not a saint, and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known for the things that she does on the mattress
09.10.11. You Lie.
...
I never liked the taste of crow but baby I ate it
They tried to warn me
They said that you were ornery
So don't bring me those big brown eyes and tell me that you're sorry
...
That ain't my perfume
I bet she had a curfew
You told me you were out with the boys and baby I believed you
So why you lookin' so nervous?
You know you're gonna deserve this
...
Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna drive into the big ol' muddy river
I'm gonna park my car in the middle of the mile-long bridge
And then I'm gonna cry well maybe just a little
Then I'm gonna slip off the ring that you put on my finger
Give it a big ol' fling and watch it sink
Down, down, down
There it's gonna lie
Until the Lord comes back around
...
Well it's what you do, it's who you are
09.11.13. God Must Be Busy.
...
And I know in the big picture
I'm just a speck of sand
And God's got better things to do
Than look out for one man.
I know he's heard my prayers
'Cause he hears everything,
He just ain't answered back
Or he'd bring you back to me.
God Must Be Busy.
That evening news,
Ain't much changed, pretty much the same
Since I left home.
Yeah that war's still on.
They found that little girl.
She was soaking wet,
Half scared to death on the side of some road.
Them prayers work, you know
...
09.12.11. My Heart Can't Tell You No.

...

So I let you in, knowing tomorrow
I'm gonna wake up missing you,Wake up missing you.
When the one you love's in love with someone else,
Don't you know it's torture? I mean it's a living hell.
No matter how I try to convince myself,
This time I won't lose control.
One look in your blue eyes and suddenly
My Heart Can't Tell You No
I don't want you to call me up no more,
Saying you need me.
You're crazy if you think just half your love
Could ever please me.
Still I want to hold you, touch you
When you look at me that way.
There's only one solution I know:
You got to stay away from me!
...
09.14.11. 15 Minutes of Shame.
Yeah this song is about you
I'm givin' you more than fair warning right now on your radio
Everybody's gonna hear
All the things that you did
That you don't want the world to know
I'm spilling the beans
I'm shouting it out
Yeah you're gonna be sorry now...
And try to deny it when I reveal the truth
Sure you're pretty good at working a line, but it's all just a matter of time...
Every girl in this world's gonna know your name                                                                   And I hope you enjoy your 15 Minutes                                                                                    of Shame
09.18.11. More Like Her.
She's beautiful in her simple little way
...
Guess I should've been more like that
You had it all for a pretty little while
And some how you made me smile when I was sad
You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart
Then you realized you wanted what you had
I guess I should've been more like that
I should have held on to my pride
I should have never let you lie
I guess you got what you deserved
...
You don't look much like a man from where I'm at
It's plain to see desperation showed it's truth
You love her and she loves you with all she has
I guess I should've been more like that
...
I guess I should've been More Like Her
...
09.19.11. House That Built Me.
...
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the House That Built Me
You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am
...
09.20.11. Crush.
I guess I should've known
It wasn't gonna end okay
You're such a trouble maker
But I like you just that way.
A bomb tick ticking with neither one of us to blame
Just like a countdown ready to blow
I sat around a lot and thought
About the world without you
And no matter what you think
Everything is not about you
You think I'm still hung up on you
But baby it's not true
Now look at me
Your memories turn into dust
There is only one explanation
I wasn't really in love
It was just a crush
...
You'll be fine
Just find another girl
To kick around
Won't be long
Until they all know what
I figured out
...
09.21.11. A Little Bit Stronger.
...
And I'm done hoping that we can work it out,
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around.
I'm done thinking, that you could ever change.
I know my heart will never be the same,
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay.
Even on my weakest days, I get A Little Bit Stronger.
Doesn't happen over night, but you turn around and a months gone by,
And you realize you haven't cried.
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer.
...
09.23.11. I Could Break Your Heart Any Day of The Week.
...
Those calendar girls-- they got nothing of me.
I Could Break Your Heart Any Day Of The Week.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
I’ll make you nervous.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Don't you disturb us.
Sunday rolls around- but that’s another story.
It gets a little boring.
...
09.25.11. Maybe Possibly.

...

Believe me when I say, you're gonna regret it
You'll see
That Maybe, Possibly I was the best I don't compare to the rest
And Maybe, Possibly you make me aware of everything I say and do
And Maybe, Possibly I still want you
We broke up and now I'm just waiting for me
To see, the real reality
That what we had is only what we used to be
I should've known better, I could've done better
...
And Maybe, Possibly you were the best, you don't compare to the rest
And Maybe, Possibly I want you to be in everything I say and do
And Maybe, Possibly you still want me too.

09.27.11. Best Thing I Never Had
...
There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right,
No lies, no wrong,
Boy I must have been out of my mind,
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you,
You showed your self and I, I saw the real you!
Thank God you blew it,
Thank God I dodged the bullet,
I'm so over you
So baby go lookin' out!
I wanted you bad,
I'm so through with that,
'Cause honestly you turned out to be the Best Thing I Never Had,
You turned out to be the Best Thing I Never Had,
And I'm gon' always be the Best Thing You Never Had,
Oh yeah, I bet it sucks to be you right now!
So sad, you're hurt,
Boo hoo, oh did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears,
I guess that's why they ain't there,
...
10.04.11. Give Love A Try.
You, you're like driving on a Sunday,
You, you're like taking off on Monday,
You, you're like a dream, a dream come true.
I, I'm just a face you never notice,
And I, I'm just trying to be honest with myself,
With you, with the world.
You might think, that I'm a fool for falling over you,
So tell me what can I do, to prove to you,
That it's not so hard to do,
Give Love A Try, one more time,
'Cause you know that I'm on your side.
...
10.20.11. I'm Gonna Getcha Good.

...

You're a fine piece of real estate, and I'm gonna get me some land
So, don't try to run, honey, love can be fun
There's no need to be alone when you find that someone
I'm gonna getcha while I gotcha in sight
I'm gonna getcha if it takes all night
You can betcha by the time I say "go," you'll never say "no"
I'm gonna getcha, it's a matter of fact
...
I've already planned it - here's how it's gonna be
I'm gonna love you and - you're gonna fall in love with me
...
10.14.11. She Won't Be Lonely Long.
...
Heaven help the fool who did her wrong
It’s too late, too bad, she’s too far gone
He should’ve thought of that
Before he left her all alone
If she’s lonely now
She Won’t Be Lonely Long
Somethin’ bout the way she’s blushin’
You can tell she isn’t sure
Let you know she’s up to somethin’
She’s never done before
...
10.19.11. As A Blonde.

...

I'm tainted, I'm tired, of being the same, yeah.
I'm desperate, I'm bored, I'm begging for change.
What if you're normal and wanna be strange?
...
10.24.11. Storm Warning.
...
I'm gonna wish I had a Storm Warning
I'm gonna wish I had a sign
I'm gonna wish I had a little heads up
Little lee-way, little more time
Some kind of radar system
Locked in on love
I got a feeling by the time the night finds the morning
I'm gonna wish I had a Storm Warning
Ain't it funny how it feels
When you're burning your wheels
Somewhere between goin' and gone
You get so lost that you can't turn it off
...
10.30.11. Happily Never After.
I thought, we were unstoppable..yeah
I felt, it's undeniable that anyone
Could see, I was so, in, love with you
I thought we'd always be, happy, happy
I thought you'd always be, good for me
Guess I, was wrong
Guess you'll always be, my,
Happy, happy, Happy Never After
Happy Never After
Maybe, your not good for me but,
Baby, no oh I don't need you
Now I see, so clearly
It's time, to let, you, go
...
10.31.11. Before The Storm.
...
I'm standing out in the rain
I need to know if it's over
'Cause I will leave you alone
...

waiting.

       Please forgive the musings of a 21 year old girl.

1. It's late
2. I'm exhausted and therefore over-emotional
3. I'm a girl. (I never like that as an excuse, but today it seems like a legit one)

     I thought this summer I knew what it meant to start to fall in love. I learned a little bit about what real feelings truly are. What I mean by this, is I learned what it could feel like, and more importantly perhaps I learned how much it hurts. I learned how much it hurts to have those feelings not reciprocated. I learned how much it hurts to be rejected, to not be good enough.  If you are a faithful reader (I know they don't exist, but I can pretend) you will be aware I have posted on this in the past. I hope you, dear and faithful readers, will also be aware that I have realized this summer and all it entailed was actually a blessing in disguise.  I learned a lot this summer. I learned about feelings, and about loss and life and independence and most importantly I feel I learned about me.  This summer made me grateful that I've chosen to wait.

[insert rant here]
    
     Waiting is not a popular decision. It is not popular with those of my generation, or those in this world in general. But I'm here to say, that waiting is something I KNOW is important. This does not come purely from religous upbringing and beleifs, but stems from the idea of respect.

• Self-respect for me
• Respect for the person I am waiting for

      I think the second point was one of the major issues or problems (call it what you may) with the guy this past summer. Man, I thought he was perfect.

• He was handsome
• He was smart
• He gave me butterflies
• He liked me back
• He listened

   Basically in my mind he had all the requirements... Well, sort of. There was one little hitch. He's been with pretty much every woman and their mother (yes, that's an exaggeration), the point being there was a lot. More significantly than that. There was a lot that meant nothing. Even if he had truly changed, like he claimed. For me that uncomfortable feeling that I was constantly being compared never would have left.

   Besides that potential worrying problem, there was the pressure. He never said it out right, but I know and I think I always knew that without that one element, our relationship never would have progressed because that was all he knew. What's more I know that everything I am is special. When he-who-will-not-be-named decided he would no longer persue me because of my decision to wait I felt awful. I felt like no matter what I did, how fun, or smart or kind I was I wasn't enough without that. It meant that no matter what I wasn't enough to keep him without it. I don't think anyone should ever feel that way. Ever. Period. It is just plain wrong. Now I'm done talking about that.

    I think waiting = respect. Respect for yourself because you know you are worth more than that. Respect from others because they don't think all that bad stuff about you. Respect for that Prince Charming someday, because just as you're waiting for him, he'll be waiting for you - and just as you're worth it, so is he!

he's.just.not.that.into.you.

     He's Just Not That Into You.

It's a movie and it is also a song. Plus it's every, single girls life at one point, or another.

     First off, I love this movie and I adore this song! Within them there are words of wisdom. It sounds corny I know, but it is true.  They are words that everyone should hear.  I want to pass these words on to my children and to my cousins and to my friends. It should in somways be able to protect people.

     These words are not my own and can be taken however you like.. in the words of Ellen Degeneresse: You don't need men, trust me

     I was housesitting last month and I had an ephiphany of sorts. I saw my future, in a sense. I was sitting on the floor in the living room watching Jersey Shore (since it was the only thing on) on the smallest tv imaginable, in a gorgeous - perfect for two people house, that smells like old person, well, because that's who usually live there. with a hot tub out back, and a heated bathroom floor, attempting to study, and not listen to my stomache growl because i can't cook, and have no idea what to eat and don't have anyone around anyways to cook for me. so i get out some crackers, and tzatki and eat that, and then chow down on like 4 poptarts and a litre of pop. good meal,. but what else is there? i justf finsihed off the two pizzas in the fridge - it took me two weeks, but i did it. and never again will i ever eat pizza (fr like a week) who knew you'd get tired of pizza - I mean it is so incredibly delishous (I am totally serious - no sarcasm, actually, really)But I saw myself. in ten years, alone. in a hosue, starving, studying, watching bad tv, sounds sad, huh? WRONG! It's good. There I will be alone, carefree, and independent! i don't have to shave my legs, I'll have money to do as I want. I ca learn to cook without judgment. It will be differnt than the future I have planned for myslef. but it canm still be good. very good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl2k06SYrng

song.journal.july.august.2011.

07.01.11 Just A Kiss.
...
And I don't want to mess this thing up
I don’t want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with Just A Kiss goodnight
I know that if we give this a little time
It will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It's never felt so real, not it's never felt so right.
...
07.02.11. I Don't Miss You At All.
...
'Cause I never think about you
I'm better off without you
I Don't Miss You At All
You don't spin around in my head
I'ts like you never existed
And I hope you don't call
I Don't Miss You At All
And I'm not trying to fight it
So you can cross my name right off the wall
I Don't Miss You At All
...
07.04.11. As A Blonde.
...
'Cuz you know that I just might
Break some different hearts, finish what I start
I'm not gonna wait, and mess around with fate.
And come back As A Blonde, try a different lipstick on
As A Blonde, will I get whatever I want?
I'll be ever so enticing,
Take a lot of icing, never have to watch my weight.
Yeah when I'm gone,
I'm gonna come back As A Blonde.
...
07.06.11. Don't Impress Me Much.
...
Okay, so you're Brad Pitt?
That Don't Impress Me Much
So you got the looks, but have you got the touch
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night
That Don't Impress Me Much
...
07.07.11. Summer Nights.
...
We went crazy cooped all winter long
And school is out, so let's get it on
Flip flop tans and some white sand
I know the perfect spot
Well the sunset better set soon
So we can get in the mood
Things start getting all heated up
When it strts getting cool, yeah
Summer Nights
Everybody, are you with me?
...
07.08.11. Story of Us.
...
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how
I've never heard silence quite this loud
...
07.11.11. Summer Rain.
...
I've been saving my love for a rainy day
And it's really coming down today
Out of the blue, you came
You shined a little light on a cloudy day
Baby, you could make a broken heart go away.
I'm not gonna lie this feeling inside I can't explain
I'm gonna blame it on the Summer Rain
...
07.12.11. Somebody's Chelsea.
...
"I'll never forget how you showed me what it means
To be Somebody's Chelsea
Somebody's world
Somebody's day and night, one and only girl
A part of a love story that never has an end
You know that's what every woman wants to be"
And I want to be
Somebody's Chelsea
...
07.15.11. I Wanna Cowboy.
...
I'm tired of talking 'bout it wasting my time
On all the cheap talkers needing me feeding me lines
Give me somebody who's tender but tough
Simple and honest knows a thing or two about love
I've seen enough to know I know what I like
It's the hard working, head turning rugged type
I want a down home up with the sun rise man
A pick-up truck driving bull riding strong steady hand
I want the wranglers, stetson and all that stuff
I want the real McCoy
...
07.19.11. Get Out of This Town.
...
Let's Get Out of This Town tonight
Nothing but dust in the shadows
Gone by morning light
Somewhere we won't ever get caught, ever be found
Baby, let's just Get Out of This Town
If we leave tonight and drive fast enough
All our troubles will be just like us
Long Gone Baby
...


07.20.11. Skyscraper.
...
Go run, run, run.
I'm gonna stay right here,
Watch you disappear.
It's a long way down,
But I am closer to the clouds, up here
You can take everything I have,
You can break everything I am,
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper.
...
Go on and try to tear me down.
I will be rising from the ground,
Like a Skyscraper!
...
07.21.11. I Know You Won't.
...
Lately you make me feel all I am is a back-up plan
I say I'm done and then you smile at me and I forget
Everything I said
I buy into those eyes
And into your lies
You say you'll call, but I know you
You say you're coming home, but I know you
You say you'll call, but I Know You Won't
...
I wish you were where you're supposed to be
...
07.25.11. What To Do.
...
You think about it
Can you ever change?
Finish what you started
Make me want to stay
Tired of conversation
Show me something real
Find out what your part is
Play it how you feel
Tell me What To Do, about you
Is there anyway, anything I can say
Won't break us in two
'Cause it's been a long time coming
I can't stop loving you
Tell me What To Do about you
...
07.26.11. Everything I Want.
...
You stayed for a while
Then left with a smile
But at least I made you happy
You make me happy too
It's kinda cheesy to say but
You're Everything I Want
When I'm with you all the hurting stops
...
08.06.11. I Wanna Know.
...
I wanna be the clothes you wear
Wrapped around you tight against your skin
To be a strand of your hair
Tangled and unruly, so you can run your fingers through me
I wanna be there
...
I Wanna Know how you taste when you smile
Soaked in the rain and drenched in the sunshine!
I Wanna Know where you go when you sleep?
Do you think about me?
I Wanna Know
...
The only one that soothes you
Who's really closest to you
Like a kiss on your lips
...
08.10.11. I Love You This Big.
...
By the way my heart starts pounding
When I look into your eyes
I might look a little silly
Standing with my arms stretched open wide.
I Love You This Big
Eyes have never seen.. this big
No one's ever dreamed... this big
And I'll spend the rest of my life
Explaining what words cannot describe but, I'll try
...
08.12.11. What Do I Have To Do?
I hear what you're not saying,
Loud and clear.
I've long since stopped asking
How you feel.
If I’m ever gonna be any closer to you
Oh What Do I Have To You
To get you to talk to me, say anything,
Just see me in the room
I don’t wanna be a flower on the wall,
Wilting away
How hard is it just to have a simple conversation?
Ask me all about the book I read, or how my day went
For me to get through to you
Oh, What Do I Have To Do?
...
08.15.11. When Love Gets A Hold of You.
...
It's tugging at your heart, but you don't show it
It's just a matter of time
It's gonna hit you right between the eyes
You'll wake up in the middle of the night
I'll be the only thing on your mind
Won't be able to shake it loose
When Love Gets a Hold of You
Before you have your first cup of coffee
You're gonna pick up the phone and call me
Won't believe what you say and do
When Love Gets A Hold of You
Cause it's gonna be written all over your face
All your friends gonna tell you how much you've changed
Feeling things that you can't deny
Going crazy and you don't know why
...
08.19.11. Keep Breathing.
...
I want to change the world...instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.
But all that I know is I'm breathing.
All I can do is Keep Breathing.
All we can do is Keep Breathing now.
...
08.21.11. Bridge You Burn.
...
He's the lesson you learn
He's the dead end you see when you realize you made a wrong turn
He's the one last look back when you finally get over the hurt
He's the Bridge You Burn
No you're not the first one to think they can change him
Well that line of fools is so long
But you'll be the only one you have to blame when
You wake up and he's gone
...
08.22.11. Come In with The Rain.
...
I've got you down, I know you by heart
And you don't even know where I start
Talk to yourself, talk to the tears
Talk to the man who put you here
Don't wait for the sky to clear
I've watched you so long, screamed your name
I don't know what else I can say
But I'll leave my window open
'Cause I'm too tired tonight for all these games
Just know I'm right here hoping
You'll Come In With The Rain.
...
08.27.11. Everything You're Not.
...
'Cause all I want is Everything You're Not
So go ahead and slam the door 'cause you can't shut me out
No, I don't, don't care what you say
'Cause all I really, all I really want is Everything You're Not
Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again
Never wanna feel this way again
Your darkness was my weakness
...
And I am done with your twisted symphony
The words that had me sound like stolen poetry
I tore the pages and I can finally breathe.
...
08.30.11. What Can I Say.
...
So I said all I had to say
In letters that I threw away
And you should know, please believe me
I've picked up the phone a thousand times
And tried to dial your number, but it's been so long
It's never easy, it's like tryin' to spin the world the other way
What Can I Say?
How did it come to this?
I think about you all the time
08.31.11. I Won't Apologize.
You had me to get her.
And here, I thought it was me.
I was changin', arrangin' my life to fit your lies.
It's all said and all done.
I gave it all for this long hopeless war
Can she say the same thing?
I guess this is good-bye and good luck.
(I can't be what you want me to be.)
I'm sorry for changing.
I'm sorry it had to be this way.
Believe me, it's easier just to pretend.
But, I Won't Apologize for who I am.
...
I used to accept it, I didn't know I could be free.
But I am, and I won't go back 'cause you so don't deserve me.
(I don't even want to be her.)
..
I don't need you anymore.
I'm sorry.
...