song.journal.may.june.2011.

05.01.11. Summer's Not Hot.
...
The temperature is 99
And it can't get much hotter
So come on over Romeo and 'Vamos A La Playa'
...
The Summer's Not Hot, The Summer's Not Hot WITHOUT you!
...
05.14.11. Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not.
...
Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?
Are we gonna do this or what?
I think you know I like you a lot
But you're about to miss your shot
Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?
...
05.16.11. Up.
...
Even my skin is acting weird
I wish that I could grow a beard
Then I could cover UP my spots
Not play connect the dots
I just wanna disappear
UP--UP--UP--
Can Only go UP from here
UP--UP--UP--UP
Where the clouds gonna clear
UP--UP--UP--
There's no way but UP from here
Even something as simple as
Forgettin' to fill up on gas
There ain't not explaination why --
Things like that can make you cry
Just gotta learn to have a laugh.
...
05.17.11. Enchanted.
...
The lingering question kept me up
2am, who do you love?
I wonder till I'm wide awake
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say, hey
It was enchanting to meet you
All I know is that I was Enchanted to meet you
...
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
...
05.26.11. Permanent Marker.
...
I know he loved you
A long time ago
Ain't jealous of you
Just thought you should know
You were never good enough for him or anything like me
So you might as well step back 'cause I ain't tryin' to show maturity
X is the mark I drew through your face in Permanent Marker
Just like the mark you knew you were making
Who do you think you are, to write on his heart?
In Permanent Marker
...
05.27.11. Me, Myself and Time.
...
And I know everything will be fine
With Me, Myself and Time.
I go where life takes me, but somedays it makes me want to change my direction
Sometimes it gets lonely, but I know that it's only a matter of my perception
I just entered this brand new world
And I'm so open-hearted
I know I've got a long way to go, but I,
I'm just getting started
...
05.31.11. Don't Forget To Remember Me.
...
Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in a while
So I don't know what to say but
'Lord I feel so small sometimes in this big ol' place
Yeah, I know there are more important things,
But Don't Forget to Remember Me
...
05.31.11. UP.
It's 'bout as bad as it could be
Seems everybody's buggin' me
Like nothing wants to go my way--
Yeah, it just ain't been my day
Nothin's comin' easily
...
06.03.11. Defying Gravity.
...
I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying Gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm Defying Gravity
And you can't pull me down!
...
06.04.11. Sparks Fly.
...
My mind forgets to remind me
You're a bad idea
You touch me once and it's really something
You'll find I'm even better than you even imagined I'd be
I'm on my guard for the rest of the world
But with you, I know it's no good
And I could wait paitently, but I really wish you would
Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain
'Cause I see Sparks Fly whenever you smile
...
06.08.11. No One Needs To Know.
Am I dreamin' or stupid?
I think I've been hit by Cupid
But No One Needs to Know right now
And I've been busy makin' big plans
But No One Needs To Know right now
I got my heart set, my feet wet
And he don't even know it yet
But No One Needs To Know right now
...
06.09.11. Into You.
If he doesn't call when he says he'll call;
Or if he doesn't even call at all,
Well, he just might not be that Into You.
If he's too busy to see you on the weekends;
And he doesn't introduce you to his friends,
Well, he just might not be that Into You.
'Cause if he was he'd be hanging on your every word.
He'd put away his little black book and put you first.
He'd be doing double back flips to make it work out.
...
06.14.11. Stupid Boy
...
She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You Stupid Boy
...
It took a while for her to figure out she could run
But when she did, she was long gone,
Long gone
...
06.19.11. Cryin' For Me.
...
Got the news on Friday mornin’
But a tear I couldn’t find
You showed me how I'm supposed to live
And now you showed me how to die
I was lost till Sunday mornin’
I woke up to face my fear
While I’m writing you this goodbye song
I found a tear
I’m gonna miss that smile,
I’m gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I’d do it all again
So play it sweet in heaven
‘Cause that’s right where you wanna be
I'm NOT crying 'cause I feel so sorry for you
I'm Crying For Me
...
06.21.11. Run.
...
'Cause I swear out there ain’t where you ought to be
So catch a ride, catch a cab
Don't you know I miss you bad
But don't you walk to me
Baby RUN, cut a path across the blue skies
Straight in a straight line
You can't get here fast enough
Find a truck and fire it up
Lean on the gas and off the clutch
Leave Dallas in the dust
I need you in a rush
So baby RUN
...

declaration.

     As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I found the portrayal came accross as a paranoid religion, that is unaccepting of others.  I cannot count the times people have told me my dad is a polygymist (which isn't even the proper term as that just means multiple spouses and not multiple wives) or that my gender is restricted in some way. People have simpley hidden against judgements of soething they do not understand nor try to understand or a faith that is open, accepting,and loving and most of all Christian (defined by beleiver of Christ) which is exactly what I and others of my faith are.

(credit: postsecret.com)

song.journal.march.april.2011.

03.01.11. Barefoot Cinderella.
...
A dream world is always perfect,
But that's not my real life.
Wish you did, but you don't know
Then me I am inside.
I pray that you'll come lookin' and I won't hide
I'll be smiling when you find me
'Cuz I've been waiting
For you to ask:
"Do you wanna dance, My Barefoot Cinderella?
Don't need no slippers or a party dress,
The way you're lookin' right now is what I like the best."
And then you say:
"Do you wanna take that chance?
Stay with me forever?
No one will ever be more beautiful,
My barefoot, My Barefoot Cinderella."
...
03.03.11. Lost In Your Own Life.

...

I want you to know, you're never alone
You'll ALWAYS have a place to go.
That's on the brighter side
I'll color your night
I'll lead you to light
Put hope inside for you to find
You don't have to be lost,
Lost in Your Own Life.
...
03.12.11 Who Says.
...
Who Says you're not perfect?
Who Says your not worth it?
Who Says you're the only one that's hurting?
Trust me,
That's the price of beauty
Who Says you're not pretty?
Who Says you're not beautiful?
Who Says?
...
03.21.11 Last Time Around.
...
I'd let you go, but you're all that I'm after
Can't you remember?
Keep on moving like you did last summer
When the grass was greener, and your hair was longer
If you become familiar with another in town,
Don't forget about the fun that we had,
Last Time Around
...
03.24.11 Catch Me.
...
I can't set my hopes to high
'Cuz every hello ends with a goodbye
But you're so hypnotizing
You've got me laughing while I sing
You've got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
Your love is where I'm falling
But, please DON'T Catch Me
...
03.25.11. Last Kiss.
...
Because I love your handshake meeting my father.
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets,
How'd you kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something
Not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions
...
All that I know is I don't know,
How to be something you'll miss.
...
04.05.11. Mean.
...
Someday I'll be living in a big ole city
And all you're ever gonna be is Mean.
...
04.09.11. Terrified.
...
I only said it 'cause I mean it
I only mean it 'cause it's true
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming
'Cause it fills me up and holds me close whenever I'm without you
You said it again my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm Terrified.
...
04.10.11. Introducing Me.
...
And I like to use to the word "dude"
As a noun, or an adverb, or an adjective
And I've never really been into cars
I like really cool guitars and superheroes
And checks with lots of zeros on 'em
I love the sound of violins
And making someone smile
If you wanna know
Here it goes;
Gonna tell you this
The part of me that'll show if you're close
Gonna let you see everything
But remember that you asked for it
I'll try to do my best to impress
But it's easier to let you take a guess at the rest
But you wanna hear what lives in my brain
My heart, well you asked for it
For your perusing
At times confusing,
Possibly amusing
Introducing Me
...
04.16.11. Beleive In Me.
...
The mirror can lie
It can't show you what's inside
And it, it can tell you you're full of life
It's amazing what you can hide,
Just by putting on a smile.
I don't wanna be afraid.
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful today
And know that I'm OK
'Cause everyone's beautiful in their usual way
So you see, I just wanna Beleive in Me.
...
04.21.11. Different Summers.
...
Oh, You know that I can't help but wonder
What's gonna happen next.
I'm a little curious, oh yeah
Every star that I stood under,
When you were under it too
Did you ever think about us?
...



04.25.11. Mean.
 ...
I walk with my head down
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I, I just wanna feel OK again. 
...

song.journal.january&february.2011.

Someone once said.. "When words fail, music speaks." I'm a big believer in that phrase. There is something about putting lyrics to melody can turn ordinary words into universally understood feelings, drive one to tears, and bring people together.
This here, this is a list of songs that sopke to me this year. These songs either were stuck in my head or describe how I feel or both!
So here it goes.. my heart and soul from 2011

01.17.11. Superman.
...
Tall, dark and beautiful, he's complicated, he's irrational.
But I hope someday he'll take me away, and save the day.
Something in his deep brown eyes has me saying,
He's not all bad like his reputation
And I can't hear one single word they say.
And you'll leave got places to be and I'll be OK
I always forget to tell you I love you
I loved you from the very first day... 
...
 01.31.11 Long Live.

...

Long Live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
I was screaming Long Live, the look on your face
And bring on ALL the pretenders, I'm NOT AFRAID!
...
02.12.11. Black Keys.
...
And the Black Keys never seemed so beautiful
And a perfect rainbow never seemed so dull.
And the lights out never had this bright a glow
And the Black Keys are showing me a world I never knew
...
02.25.11. The Way I Loved You.
...
And it might be wonderful
And it might be magical
And it might be everything I've waited for,
A miracle,
But even if I fall in love again
With someone new,
It will never be The Way I Loved You
...