believe in me

I'm losing myself
Trying to compete
With everyone else
Instead of just being me
Don't know where to turn
I've been stuck in this routine
I need to change my ways
Instead of always being weak

I don't wanna be afraid
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful..today
And know that I'm okay
Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways
So you see, I just wanna believe in me

La la la la la la la la

The mirror can lie
Doesn't show you what's inside
And it, it can tell you you're full of life
It's amazing what you can hide
Just by putting on a smile

I'm quickly finding out
I'm not about to break down
Not today
I guess I always knew
That I had all the strength to make it through

Not gonna be afraid
I'm going to wake up feeling beautiful..today
And know that I'm okay
Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways
So you see, now, now I believe in me

Now I believe in me

What an awe-inspiring story. I wish her all the best. If only someday I also can be that strong!

whatcha doin'?

I'm not going to lie, I am a master at wasting time. I love wasting time. I waste time everyday. I waste time ALL the time. 

How do I waste time?  I have a few differnt ways. My favorite at the moment is watching the Disney Channel.

I know, I know. I am well-aware that I should be highly embarassed by this hobby of mine.  After all, I am 20 years old. The truth is,

• I love the Disney Channel.
• I love the good clean humour.
• I love that it actually makes me laugh
• I love that it give me some fashion ideas
• I love when it makes me smile with the display of cute on-screen romances. 

There is no doubt that my love life could be seen as pathetic.  However, as pathetic as it may appear I am very happy right now with my impeding never-ending single-ness. Despite my current life satisfaction a kiss like Joe and Stella at the end of JONAS LA or a Sonny/Chad (Channy) romance wouldn't be half bad.

Today my show of choice was Phineas and Ferb. It's a silly, little animated show that I used to under-appreciate. Now I have learned to love it.  I have learned to appreicate the funny lines that leave my younger brothers in stitches. Slowly I've began to find those boys with heads shaped like the first letter of their names and the out-of-this world scenarios they create endearing. I've grown to smile at those little catch phrases: "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today," "hey, where's Perry?" and 'whatcha doin'?"Although this show requires little concentraiton, or thought at all I no longer hate it and wouldn't mind curling up now and again with a child, still full of the simplest joys, to laugh right along and watch Candace and Dr.  Doofenshmirtz be thwarted again and again and again and again and again. 

Try it! You never know, you may just grow to love it just like me!

just because

I don't know if you've ever experienced exam week.

It is awful.  Actually school can be plain awful sometimes. All this awfulness makes me long for summer.

In my mind summer is great.

In my mind summer is when I can have time to breathe, to think, to work-out and just start My New Life.

But right here, right now, I figured why not? Why not start today?

It has felt like something just isn't right. So I have decided now is my chance to do something.

Perhaps no one will ever see this, or hear me.  But there is strange comfort in knowing all of this will be out there in this vast universe.  Perhaps out there, in all this emptiness I can touch something, someone, or maybe even myself.

**All photos are courtesty of http://www.postsecret.com/ which is an amazing website that brings, hope, inspiration, joy, laughter and tears not just to myself, but to millions like me.**