song.journal.march.april.2011.

03.01.11. Barefoot Cinderella.
...
A dream world is always perfect,
But that's not my real life.
Wish you did, but you don't know
Then me I am inside.
I pray that you'll come lookin' and I won't hide
I'll be smiling when you find me
'Cuz I've been waiting
For you to ask:
"Do you wanna dance, My Barefoot Cinderella?
Don't need no slippers or a party dress,
The way you're lookin' right now is what I like the best."
And then you say:
"Do you wanna take that chance?
Stay with me forever?
No one will ever be more beautiful,
My barefoot, My Barefoot Cinderella."
...
03.03.11. Lost In Your Own Life.

...

I want you to know, you're never alone
You'll ALWAYS have a place to go.
That's on the brighter side
I'll color your night
I'll lead you to light
Put hope inside for you to find
You don't have to be lost,
Lost in Your Own Life.
...
03.12.11 Who Says.
...
Who Says you're not perfect?
Who Says your not worth it?
Who Says you're the only one that's hurting?
Trust me,
That's the price of beauty
Who Says you're not pretty?
Who Says you're not beautiful?
Who Says?
...
03.21.11 Last Time Around.
...
I'd let you go, but you're all that I'm after
Can't you remember?
Keep on moving like you did last summer
When the grass was greener, and your hair was longer
If you become familiar with another in town,
Don't forget about the fun that we had,
Last Time Around
...
03.24.11 Catch Me.
...
I can't set my hopes to high
'Cuz every hello ends with a goodbye
But you're so hypnotizing
You've got me laughing while I sing
You've got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
Your love is where I'm falling
But, please DON'T Catch Me
...
03.25.11. Last Kiss.
...
Because I love your handshake meeting my father.
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets,
How'd you kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something
Not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions
...
All that I know is I don't know,
How to be something you'll miss.
...
04.05.11. Mean.
...
Someday I'll be living in a big ole city
And all you're ever gonna be is Mean.
...
04.09.11. Terrified.
...
I only said it 'cause I mean it
I only mean it 'cause it's true
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming
'Cause it fills me up and holds me close whenever I'm without you
You said it again my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm Terrified.
...
04.10.11. Introducing Me.
...
And I like to use to the word "dude"
As a noun, or an adverb, or an adjective
And I've never really been into cars
I like really cool guitars and superheroes
And checks with lots of zeros on 'em
I love the sound of violins
And making someone smile
If you wanna know
Here it goes;
Gonna tell you this
The part of me that'll show if you're close
Gonna let you see everything
But remember that you asked for it
I'll try to do my best to impress
But it's easier to let you take a guess at the rest
But you wanna hear what lives in my brain
My heart, well you asked for it
For your perusing
At times confusing,
Possibly amusing
Introducing Me
...
04.16.11. Beleive In Me.
...
The mirror can lie
It can't show you what's inside
And it, it can tell you you're full of life
It's amazing what you can hide,
Just by putting on a smile.
I don't wanna be afraid.
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful today
And know that I'm OK
'Cause everyone's beautiful in their usual way
So you see, I just wanna Beleive in Me.
...
04.21.11. Different Summers.
...
Oh, You know that I can't help but wonder
What's gonna happen next.
I'm a little curious, oh yeah
Every star that I stood under,
When you were under it too
Did you ever think about us?
...



04.25.11. Mean.
 ...
I walk with my head down
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I, I just wanna feel OK again. 
...

mean

"all you are is mean. and a liar. and pathetic. and alone in life. annnnddd. mean."

--Taylor Swift

     You've gotta love Taylor Swift.  In my opinion, like many girls like me, Taylor always 'tells it as it is,' and/or 'makes it all better.' 
     
     This innate talent is probably the key to her, so far, enormous sucess.  Miss Swift's ever increasing popularity is a direct result of the relatable nature of every song she sings, pens or touches.  Taylor is like us, she understands us and our lives. There is evidence of her relatability in everything she does; it appears in her songs, her interviews, and in the way she lives her life, just doing the best she can, Just Like Me.  She is, in a word, phenomenal! But, I guess I should move on from my love for Taylor Swift and get to the point.   
    
     It's been a rough few weeks and the stress is piling on.  To make matters worse, it seems that everyday I look in the mirror there is one more unsatisfaction. With each passing glance there is one more thing to dislike and one more reason to crawl back in bed. To top in off, my character has been greatly tarnished by other's cruel words. 

     I've been trying and trying to see the bright-side. I am trying to see the good things that can come out of all this critism. This process is harder than it sounds, much, much harder!

     I guess this is what the whole idea of my new life.  It is supposed to be about accepting the good AND the bad.  I just wish it wasn't so hard.

     There is one thing I want to say; "think before you speak." That centuries-old saying is all I can think of these days.  If there are problems and issues in a relationship it is good to talk it out, in fact it is healthy. I know that dealing with the problems in a straight-forward and respectful manner is what Our Savior has commanded us to do.   (see Matt 18 and Philippians 2:4)  I learned this at church on Sunday.  On Sunday we discussed the aforementioned scriptures and the content including; how Jesus Christ taught us to present out grievances in order to best talk and work it out together.  He then dictated two other important aspects in solving conflict; first to, when needed, involve a third party and second, of course, utilize lots of prayer.

     Once upon a time I was told a story.  This story was about a man who spread rumours and upon viewing the damaged caused went searching for forgiveness and restitution.  He brought his inquiry to a wise monk.  This monk had him place a feather on each person's doorstep who's lives had been affected by the gossip spread.  Once this mysterious task was complete the man was sent to collect each, individual feather.  However much to the man's dismay he found many had been stolen by the wind.  The moral of the story is simple; words are like the feathers on the doorstep, they can never be revoked.  The problem is words are differnt than feathers and they DO hurt.  Actually, I think perhaps words hurt much more than sticks and stones, leaving that old-saying to rest.

    

     If you need to vent there are healthy ways, like on a blog, for an invisible and/or non-existant audience, or write a letter and DON'T mail it, write in a journal, be like Taylor and write a song.  All I am saying is please, just think first before you do.  Please think,

• how can I explain how I feel?
• Have I looked at it from all angles?
• Do I understand all angles?

Only then when we understand all that we can do we act.

Please, keep this in mind.

'cause...

"i walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause i'll never impress you. i. just wanna feel OK again"

-- Taylor Swift

(credit: postsecret)