broken.hearted.

     What does it even mean to be heartbroken? Does anyone really understand?  I understand now.  I used to hear it was something everyone must experience at least once. Now I know that it's true and through my experience these are some of the other things I have come to know.

     I know...

• Heartbreak is an extreme drop in self-esteem.
• Heartbreak is knowing he's not worth your tears
• Heartbreak is crying anyways.
• Heartbreak is being mad that you're crying.
• Heartbreak is crying more.
• Heartbreak is the feeling that there is no way you'll be able to carry on.
• Heartbreak is knowing you're 'Best Thing He Never Had' (Thankyou, Beyonce).
• Heartbreak is not being able to stop wondering why he doesn't want you.
• Heartbreak is not understanding why your not worth fighting for, or worth waiting for(even though you've been waiting your whole life for him).
• Heartbreak is crying even more.
• Heartbreak is listening to every Taylor Swift song in the book.
• Heartbreak is wearing that t-shirt.
• Heartbreak is finally getting the strength to put that t-shirt away for good.
• Heartbreak is listening to every angry Carrie Underwood song.
• Heartbreak is eating too much icecream.
• Heartbreak is wishing he was cool enough to have a car, so you can egg it.
• Heartbreak is being glued to the phone.
• Heartbreak is wishing he would call and hoping he won't, all at the same time.
• Heartbreak is knowing he won't.
• Heartbreak is thinking of all the ways he could change.
• Heartbreak is knowing he will never change.
• Heartbreak is thinking of every possible scenario; in which he could attempt to win you back.
• Heartbreak is imagining all the ways you'd shut him down if he tried any of the above ideas.
• Heartbreak is knowing full-well that you never actually would.
• Heartbreak is knowing that all he has to do is look at you, and all your resolve would melt away.
• Heartbreak is wanting to yell and scream.
• Heartbreak is really wanting him here to hold you and make you feel better, because he's the only one who can.
• Heartbreak is having something good happen to you, and wanting him to be the first to know.
• Heartbreak is knowing he's not there, and never will be again.

     Worst of all, heartbreak is all the 'What If's'.  Heartbreak is all the things you two could have done together, that you never will.  Heartbreak is a seemingly inevitable point in life. I hate it.

Megan and Liz - Best Thing I Never Had (Beyonce Cover)